Friday, January 22, 2010
oh my, it's been so long. and things have changed, but they haven't really. i am still me, i am still confused, and i am still scared. when all my friends are going away this year, i will be staying behind. i have accepted that, as there is absolutely nothing i can do to change it. i will work hard, and do nothing but school, because that's the only thing that seems to matter. where i want to be in the future, i cannot get there without school.
my room has changed, but only just. i have a new desk, and a new chair that hurts my back terribly. and i noticed that when i was changing my room, those two days i felt terrible. and i realise now that i need stability, and things have to be the same, and i need routine. hmmm ... that makes me wonder about my travelling. hopefully i can travel around canada after university before applying for police college. didn't i tell you? i want to be a detective. it will be wonderful.
i am in my prime. twenty years, i will wish that i could be seventeen again, or even twenty two ... i know i must not waste these years. I'm just haulted for a while, until i can pull myself together, and handle univeristy. i took the bus around my own city, through the university campus and i was amazed. all the students looked so much like me, and they all were walking alone. i saw only a few groups of two people walking. it seemed lonely. as i sat on the bus with them, they probably didn't think for a second that i didn't attend the univeristy. that was nice.